'Allahu Akbar' Replaces 'Cheerio, Mate!' As Most Popular UK Greeting
Satire from Babylon Bee
LONDON — A recent poll conducted by the University of Oxford just revealed that "Allahu Akbar" has officially replaced "Cheerio, mate!" as the most popular greeting in the UK.
The results of the survey show "Allahu Akbar" beating out "Cheerio mate" in what experts are calling a "flippin' landslide, old bean."
"It's not really that surprising, what what?" said Baxter Edwin Bartleby III, a senior pollster. "Just reflects the social and cultural makeup of the jolly old Realm now, dunnit? Quite. 'Pon my Sam, I didn't b'leeve my peepers when I first took a goggle at the results, but it's right sensible once you think about it for a minute, innit? I use it all the time, myself. Deuced bad habit, I know — cultural appropriation and all that — but I guess it's our culture now, so that makes it better? Rather."
Bartleby was then stabbed repeatedly by a Libyan immigrant shouting "Allahu Akbar."
According to British pollsters, "Oi, wot-wot old cheese" is now the third most popular salutation in the UK, contrary to the popular American opinion that all good Englishmen say "G'day, Guvn'r!"
At publishing time, French linguistic research had shown that "Allahu Akbar" had also won out there over "Oui-oui mon frérè haû-hâù-háü!!"
Now for Clown World
Reuters Fact-Checks Babylon Bee Article Stating 'Allahu Akbar' Has Replaced 'Cheerio Mate' As UK's Favored Farewell
Reuters is at it again with their team of ‘fact checkers’. They’re targeting The Babylon Bee, a satirical website, over an article that states the most favoured farewell in the UK, ‘cheerio mate’ has been replaced with ‘Allahu Akbar.’
Kyle Mann, the Editor-in-Chief of the Babylon Bee, shared the lunacy on X, noting that “Reuters fact-checkers reached out for comment on our Babylon Bee story about ‘Allahu Akbar’ replacing ‘Cheerio Mate’ in the UK. I tried to help them out.”Mann then shared screenshots of the ridiculous message he was sent by Reuters.
The message reads “I’m contacting you from the fact-checking desk at Reuters. We investigate false and misleading claims spreading on social media. Our fact checks can help curb the circulation of misinformation.”
By going after satire, OK.
The message continues, “We’re currently looking into a claim that, sharing a Babylon Bee article, says “Allahu Akbar” has officially replaced “Cheerio, mate!” as the most popular greeting in the UK. I have pasted it below for your convenience.”
“We plan to write a fact check to set the record straight. It’s clearly a satirical article but I am reaching out to you should you wish to challenge this or comment in the fact-check article. Please get in touch if you would like to,” it ridiculously adds.
If it’s “clearly a satirical article” why are they wasting time ‘fact checking’ it?
If it said that “Praise Jesus” had replaced “cheerio mate,” would they fact check that? Probably not.
Mann shared a screenshot of his hilarious response, as he told the self-appointed arbiters of truth that “This story is true. We stand by its factual accuracy 100%” and then signed the email “Allahu Akbar.”
The whole point of the satirical story was as a comment on the fact that the most common name in England for boys is now Muhammad.